RogerBW's Blog

Health Advice and Sanitary Precautions 11 March 2020

“Wash your hands like you persuaded your husband to murder the rightful king.” Author unknown, but it inspired me.

“Wash your hands like the cops are at the door.”

“Wash your hands like you're working in a beryllium lab.”

“Wash your hands like you just met a dog for the first time.”

“Wash your hands like you just watched Contagion.”

Some mispronunciations and other things you shouldn't confuse:

Corona Virus - they haven't sold it since the late 1990s, and it was fairly horrible then.

Coroner Virus - with your last breath, you sign your own death certificate. Make sure you put down “natural causes”, it's a lot less trouble that way.

Corinna Virus - gets the parrot first. Eois imitatrix ales ab Indis / Occidit.

Karen, a Virus - she's done her rehab and she's ready to be a useful part of society again.

CORVID-19 - Nevermore!

(The CORVID and Coroner mispronunciations in particular make me feel as though I'm in a tin-eared YA dystopia. Where are the two hawt babes vying for my favours, eh?)

Tags: real life

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  1. Posted by Dr Bob at 04:51pm on 11 March 2020

    Alas, Roger, I think your part in a YA dystopia is to be the wise mentor who reveals a plot twist and is then killed by the bad guys to motivate the protagonist :-)

    Work is sending several of us to a meeting in Londonshire. The hotel we're staying at is called the Corona. We're guessing the rooms have suddenly become cheap!

  2. Posted by Chris Suslowicz at 05:00pm on 11 March 2020

    #Cornoravirusuk is trending on Twitter, apparently. I wonder if Nora is aware of this?

    There's an amusing website "Wash your lyrics" ( that will generate the appropriate poster given song title and artist. (I found "Time flies by" (Half Man Half Biscuit) to be amusing, haven't tried "The Trumpton Riots" on it yet.)

    Also someone has done The Scottish Play version, from "out, damned spot" to "have had so much blood in him".

    ....the Trumpton Riots is less good - needs to start at "Unemployment's rising", I reckon.

  3. Posted by Chris Suslowicz at 09:12pm on 11 March 2020

    The 17 year old behind the Wash Your Lyrics site has now made the BBC News website.

  4. Posted by RogerBW at 06:35pm on 15 March 2020

    Heard in Harrogate: "Chrono Virus". Presumably by the time you hear the name you've already been infected…

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