Some trailers I've seen recently, and my thoughts on them. (Links are
to youtube. Opinions are thoroughly personal. Calibration: I want a
trailer to tell me what's different about this film; the marketers
want it to tell me why it's like all the others…)
Cocaine Bear:
this is basically "Sharknado" with a light dusting of real-world
history, isn't it? See the humans get mauled. See more humans get
mauled. Ha ha isn't it funny these are meant to be real people.
(Actually the bear just ate the cocaine and died.)
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts:
the transformation sequences aren't bad, but there's the usual inertia
problem when they're in humanoid forms. I am not invested in the
mythhology.
Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3:
no doubt people who like this sort of thing will like this. Meanwhile
I can't help but notice that every time a female character shares a
shot with a male one, she's supporting him.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of
Destiny:
Harrison, you belong in a museum. And that's been true since the last
one. It all feels terribly synthetic, with Lucas and Spielberg (very
much in crowd-pleasing mode on this series, but at least with a
distinct vision) replaced with filmmaking by Disney committee.
Champions:
sports movie is sports movie. Disabled people are funny.
Teen Wolf: The Movie:
six seasons and a movie. This is the movie. Don't start here, I
suspect.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck:
meh.
You People (Teaser):
a different meh. Why do I want to watch these people?
Alice, Darling:
is this going anywhere other than an express train to Obvioustown?
The Pale Blue Eye:
now that starts to look a bit more promising.
Infinity Pool:
clearly trying to be Weird and Surreal but I think perhaps trying a
bit too hard.
65:
it all feels as though it's saying things that have been said before
in film. (And, given the major plot element revealed here, in a lot of
written SF too.)
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse:
the first of these animated things was quite fun, but this seems to be
playing on the same ideas all over again.
Sword Art Online: Progressive - Scherzo of Deep Night:
I enjoyed the anime series so I'll probably watch this eventually. But
coming in afresh there'd be no established emotional weight.
Scream VI (Teaser):
all I get from this is "no surprises, more of the same".
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters (Extended Preview):
is there any point to this at all? These horrible unsympathetic
uncommunicative people… why am I supposed to care?
A Good Person:
still, at least it's not as straight-out-of-the-mould as this.
Epic Tails:
all these kidvids look the same to me. And sound the same.
Showing Up:
while this seems to have something to it, even if the basic plot has
been done a lot.
Barbie (Teaser):
as someone else suggested, this can only be good if when Barbie and
Ken kiss two giants hands smoosh them together. (I'm also a little
bored with Margot Robbie only ever getting to play The Impossibly
Beautiful Woman, though she's 32 so I don't suppose that'll last much
longer.)
Book Club: The Next Chapter:
haven't seen the first one, and if these are the best jokes I hate to
think of the rest.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One - The Biggest Stunt in Cinema History:
very impressive. Is it worth going to all that trouble for ten, twenty
seconds of film?
Oppenheimer:
a biopic could be interesting, but Nolan won't do it as a biopic.
Might nonetheless work.
Of an Age:
aw, the kids are in lerve and nobody has ever been in lerve before.
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