Some trailers I've seen recently, and my thoughts on them. (Links are
to youtube.)
Legend: makes the
Krays look appropriately un-glamorous, but if they aren't glamorous
why should I want to watch a film about horrible people doing horrible
things?
Creed: if you find
boxing in the slightest bit interesting, you might like this film.
Looks from this like a film written originally for the "urban
audience" (because Americans can't say "black people"), and then
Stallone pointed out that he would indeed do anything for money.
Secret in Their Eyes:
looks like a feature-length episode of Criminal Minds. Apparently
monomaniacal focus on revenge is a good thing now. If the film shows
how that sort of focus can completely destroy your life, maybe it has
something to say, but the trailer frames it as an utterly conventional
get-the-bad-guy story.
Steve Jobs: does its
best not to look like a hagiography, but it's going to end up being
one anyway, as biopics of people with living relatives (and their
lawyers) always are.
Jenny's Wedding:
apparently Coming Out To The Parents is still a thing. Well, maybe it
is, I wouldn't know, but I got the impression that was the big concern
a generation ago rather than now. The entire plot is summed up in the
trailer, just in case you thought there might be any surprises.
Ant-Man: I could
probably bring myself to care about yet another lovable schmuck who
becomes an incompetent superhero, but it would take a lot of effort.
Was anyone crying out for an Ant-Man film?
The Transporter Refueled:
the first three films worked, when they did, entirely on Jason
Statham's charisma. This one doesn't have Jason Statham, replacing him
with some white-boy rapper. It attempts to fill this gaping hole with
Hawt Babes. I think this will make Transporter 3 look subtle.
Actually, the only way this will be enjoyable for me is if it's
overblown to the point of parody, which it may well be.
Sharknado 3 Oh Hell No:
The Asylum does what The Asylum does. I find I have to be in the right
sort of mental state to watch this sort of thing; once I am, I can
enjoy it hugely, but I can quite understand why people hate it. (Bonus
trailer:
Shark in Venice, though
it leaves out the best actor in the thing.)
The Diary of a Teenage Girl:
Kristen Wiig is usually a good sign, but the novel was basically an
autobiographical work-through-my-horrible-life and that's not often a
thing that works well on screen. But I might give this a look.
Goosebumps: presumably
it's meant to appeal to fans of the books, because otherwise it's an
awfully generic story. I wonder if it will acknowledge that all the
bad stuff is happening purely because the "hero" went in and messed
things up. Probably not. Man, remember when Jack Black was edgy?
Labyrinth of Lies:
clearly terribly worthy, but doesn't appear to answer the core
question: who is helped by digging up the past? If you're going to
try to present a conflict, you need to make both sides actually
interesting and with points to make on their side, not just "oh that
guy's CRUSADING and the other guys are ex-Nazis".
90 Minutes in Heaven:
this particular claim to have "seen heaven" hasn't actually been
admitted to be a fabrication yet, but it's still one guy's unsupported
word and he has an obvious incentive to keep claiming it. Meh.
The Finest Hours:
apparently based on the US Coast Guard's rescue of the Pendleton and
Fort Mercer crews in 1952. Disney means we see more of the Brave
Fiancée than of the crew-rescuing action, but as long as the film
itself gets the balance a bit more even this might be quite fun.
Bridge of Spies:
Spielberg's apparently trying for a Serious Historical Film like
George Lucas's dismal failure Red Tails. Is there enough interest in
Cold War stories now that Russia's waving its genitalia around again?
I can't see this being hugely popular, though visually it's very
attractive; in the end it's basically lawyers arguing.
Brooklyn: I'm
unqualified to judge. Many Americans love immigrant stories; I don't
find them interesting unless they have something more to say. And many
filmgoers love Nick Hornby's screenwriting, whereas I find him to have
a tin ear for any emotion more sophisticated than "I am a manchild,
and I like being like this".
Miss You Already: two
women get on with each other, and don't fight over a man. For
Hollywood, this is original. Might be pure schmaltz, might have some
actual heart to it; hard to tell.
She's Funny That Way: I
don't know what it is about Owen Wilson, but I just find him
unwatchable. Combine that with a love polygon directed by Peter
Bogdanovich, and this is another film which is aimed at people who
aren't me.
Air: now that's a bit
more interesting. Post-apocalyptic survival is somewhat out of style,
but the lack of really huge names in the cast is a plus point even if
the counters don't make a lot of sense. Faintly reminiscent of Hugh
Howey's Wool and sequels. I'll be keeping an eye out for this one.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice:
oh, no, another city's getting blown up. I am so terribly engaged,
because no other film does that. The Dark Knight meets the Dark
Superman. Zappity zappity zappity, sound and bleedin' fury, signifying
as much as it ever did.
Suicide Squad: given
all the other things that get changed in comic book films, would it be
asking too much to get away from the "mad giggly violent hot babe"
stereotype? (In stupidly impractical spike heels, no less.) Clearly it
would, because we've got to get those teenage boys in somehow, and
apparently hot babes still work even though we have pornography now.
Apart from that: macho grunting men trading one-liners and blowing
stuff up, my goodness I've never seen that in a film before. And
that's meant to be the Joker?
Fantastic Four:
yeah, yeah, it's all very pretty, but if you're not already a fan of
the characters what does it have to offer? Dubious government
overlords, and people fly around and beat each other up. Meh.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E.:
don't ask me, I liked the original. All right, so it's trying to be
like the more serious early U.N.C.L.E. seasons rather than the later
goofy ones. I can respect that. And it's doing the classic thing where
an innocent gets dragged into the villainous machinations (though that
looks as though it may just be a setup for the meet-cute). But it's
making it an origin story, something the TV series never felt the need
to do: so rather than exploring "these are two people who rely
absolutely on each other", we have "these are two people who hate each
other but must learn to work together", which has been done in film
rather more often. OK, it doesn't help impress me when the guys seem
to be wearing more eye-shadow than the ladies. Who decided to trust
Guy Ritchie with this? It's not about gangsters in London, and that's
the only thing he does with any degree of competence.
Sisters: oh, yay,
screeching harridans having a party. Just what I wanted to watch.
Damn, what did Fey and Poehler do that they were condemned to this?
Pan: very pretty, but
does it have any soul? Rooney Mara in the headdress looks like a child
dressing up. Garrett Hedlund does a cut-rate Indiana Jones pastiche.
Strip off the spectacle and does it have anything left? Maybe, but
you'll never find out from the trailer. Wright is known mostly for
fairly arty films that win BAFTAs and critics' awards rather than
crowd-pleasers; he may be out of his depth here.
Digging For Fire: an
impressive cast, but too many of them to fit well into a trailer. Is
this going to be another film with lots of talk and no action? Would
you like a great big pile of metaphor with your film? I'm getting
flashbacks to those drearily "realistic" novels of the 1970s where
someone spends the entire book deciding whether to have an affair, and
ends up not doing it.
Broken Horses: a modern
western that's a remake of a Hindi classic. OK, interesting, and an
impressive cast, but very male-focused: it's all about fathers and
brothers, and wives seem relatively secondary (after a very promising
opening shot). And haven't we kind of done brothers and revenge and
stuff? May well appeal to people other than me.
The Gift: nasty person
is nasty. I've never really seen the appeal of jump scares. Still, at
least it's an original script, not a book adaptation or an ongoing
franchise. Will it have anything to say?
Staten Island Summer:
1950s kitchen and family and hairstyles, but set in the present day?
Man, Hollywood is getting old now. But anyway, just another story
about adolescent boys wanting to get laid. How the girls feel about it
is a mystery, because who can possibly understand Girls, right? You
just keep pressing levers until you find the one that gives you the
treat.
American Ultra: another
manchild discovers that he is the Chosen One. Might actually be quite
fun, but depends on how quickly they drop the manchild stuff and
whether the girlfriend actually gets things to do.
Before We Go: might,
just might, be something more than generic rom-com. The leads appear
to have something like chemistry, which is surprisingly often absent
from these things.
The Good Dinosaur:
dinosaurs and humans living together… mass hysteria! The animation
seems sadly cheap except for the brief glimpse of rushing water, but
this is clearly extruded family-film product, intended to keep the
kids quiet for an hour or two, sell some plastic toys (ah, so that's
why the protagonist dinosaur looks more like a plastic toy than the
others), and then be forgotten. (Are all the other dinosaurs bad
dinosaurs?)
Mississippi Grind:
petty lowlives have the money, honest. Looks like basically a love
story between the leads, only without the whole sex thing (there are
interchangeable and anonymous young women for that). Mendelsohn in
particular looks as if he might be able to carry this.
Southpaw: is
generic boxing movie distinct in itself, or just a subtype of generic
sports movie? And do we really care?
Spectre: at this
point the James Bond franchise seems to have become an exercise in
spot-the-reference. Ooh, New Orleans and dancing skeleton men! But it
rather looks as if this series has fallen prey to Doctor Who
syndrome: nothing can now happen without being about James Bond.
Still, I haven't actually bothered to watch any of the reboot films
yet, so I'm certainly not going to start here; I may get to it
eventually.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2:
the third book was the weakest of the trilogy, so I'm assuming there
needs to be a lot of pastiche and additional material here, especially
as it's been stretched to two films. The first two did a decent enough
job of that, so I have hopes for this one. (I don't plan to watch
Mockingjay Part 1 until I have Part 2 available.)
Freeheld: Serious
Important Film about a Lesbian Dying of Cancer. What, it's not
November suddenly is it? Everyone will have forgotten this by Oscar
time. (Not my sort of thing, but there are many people who love it.)
We Are Your Friends: a
bunch of young men want to be DJs. If I cared about them I might care
about the film, but the trailer doesn't bother to invite me to care
about them: hey, they're attractive young men who want to get laid,
what more do you want?
Experimenter: OK, if
you haven't heard of the Milgram experiments you might learn
something. Has anyone not heard of the Milgram experiments?
Maze Runner The Scorch Trials:
this way to the post-apocalyptic YA dystopia, where the young people
are the only ones who can make things better. Meh. Maybe if I'd been
pulled in by the first film. Many people were.
Zipper: cynical
political thriller, only considering how weak the trailer is with the
entire film to pick from the thrills seem to have been left out. As
far as I can see we're meant to feel sorry for this guy who's
wrecking his career by failing to control his urge to sleep with
prostitutes. Why? (And didn't Shame already do the "sex addiction is
horrible" thing without needing to have a political plot as well?)
13 Hours The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi:
Michael Bay, and a film about heroic mercenaries fightin' to save
'Murican lives. Bored now.
Sicario: Emily Blunt,
action heroine? Yeah, she carried that off in Edge of Tomorrow. The
plot looks pretty simplistic though.
Spotlight: crusading
newspapermen (remember them?) break the story of sexual abuse by
Catholic priests in Boston, doing all the legwork themselves rather
than (as in real life) mostly publicising the information that had
been dug up by other people. I think that releasing Oscar-bait films
in the summer is now an admission that they aren't good enough to win
Oscars.
The 33: why did it take
five years to make a film about the trapped Chilean miners? Because
they had to invent a pregnant girlfriend for one of them. Original
characterisation like that doesn't happen overnight, you know.
The Night Before: men
behaving badly. Oh, yay.
Black Mass: I
suppose The Godfather really did set up a new film template. But
it's not a template I particularly enjoy. Johnny Depp and Benedict
Cumberbatch; I wonder if they'll try to out-non-neurotypical each
other.
Room: Hard to tell
from this, but it looks as if it might be really rather good.
(Confused trailers often indicate a film that doesn't readily fit into
a standard marketing category.) The plot's given away, but that's
pretty much the plot it has to be based on the premise.
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