As always, spoilers abound. See Wikipedia for production details
The Doctor - Sylvester McCoy
Mel Bush - Bonnie Langford
Ace - Sophie Aldred
The programme was moved to Monday evenings, directly opposite the
perennially popular Coronation Street, supposedly to draw a young
audience from a programme that largely appealed to crumblies. This is
as close as British TV scheduling gets to the Friday Night Death Slot.
Andrew Cartmel came in as script editor. Like several before him, he
wanted to make the series darker and edgier. Unlike them, he was
sometimes vaguely competent at it. But he didn't come in soon enough
for the initial choice of writers; that was Nathan-Turner's job for
the first two stories of this series.
Time and the Rani
And he fell back on two of his old faithfuls. Oh dear.
And Colin Baker didn't come back for the regeneration, so not only
does he not get a farewell, we have the unedifying sight of Sylvester
McCoy in a curly-haired wig, in the third pre-credits sequence in the
show's history. (In the original version of the script, the Doctor
would sacrifice himself at the end of the story as Beyus did in the
final version; the pre-credits sequence would be some genius getting
kidnapped from Earth.) And of course there's never any reason given
for the regeneration.
New beepy computery title sequence, and new logo. (And yeah, even when
it first came out it looked "obviously computer-based", an expensive
computer but still not a patch on the real thing. An upgraded Quantel
Paintbox, I gather.)
You must get extra plot-token points for leaving the TARDIS door open.
Both the Doctor and the Rani do it here. After 23 years it's the only
explanation.
And then the Rani dresses up as Mel and it all goes horribly wrong.
Mel screams. And Mel screams some more. And then she squeaks.
Somebody at the BBC clearly got a good deal on some glitter-fountains.
The plot is basically horrible; we will technobabble the technobabble
in order to technobabble the technobabble, with lots and lots of
exposition. All the Rani had to do was pick an uninhabited planet and
build or buy some robot servitors, and none of this oppressing the
natives nonsense would have been necessary. Dialogue is creaky, and
none of the characters ever gets more than one dimension (though to be
fair the Bakers didn't know who was going to be playing the Doctor, or
have a script editor to guide them). The Lakertyans are generic noble
savages, with Wanda Ventham utterly wasted under that makeup. The
Tetraps are generic monsters. Kate O'Mara salvages the most of anyone
here, by simply playing the Rani as over the top of over the top, with
plenty of mayonnaise on her scenery sandwich.
That is the silliest landmine I have ever seen. I want some. (More
Paintbox work, though it mostly holds together.) Production in general
is very good, especially the use of the quarry for external locations.
There's very noticeable background music from Keff McCulloch, who'd
also done the new theme. Parts of it would work quite well in other
programmes; parts are just noisy; parts sound as if they're meant to
be diegetic effects. I think this is the first time that recognisable
strains from the show's theme tune have been used as incidental music.
McCoy as the new Doctor does indeed shove a monster into a trap,
perhaps by accident – but he's shocked when he sees the result. What a
change from Colin Baker happily running around with a gun. On the
other hand for my taste there's rather too much clowning around and
physical comedy in what's supposed to be a series of tense situations.
Yeah, this story is basically a runaround. But, particularly once the
Rani stops pretending to be Mel, it's not half as terrible as people
say.
Paradise Towers
Stephen Wyatt was new to television, but had theatre and radio
experience. He comes up here with a curiously uneven story, that I
found quite enjoyable to watch but which was full of holes as it
failed to back up its parody with solid characterisation or plotting.
(Why did nobody ever visit the building? How was the architect
prevented from filling the whole place with death traps, rather than
just the pool? Why was his brain "trapped in the basement" rather than
destroyed, and why was it allowed all that hardware? Why does he want
dead bodies other than the one he's going to wear? Why hasn't anyone
aged since they arrived? Why have they all forgotten the details of
how they got there?)
The Kangs are somewhat tedious during their introduction, but soon
improve. On the other hand, the cleaning robots with their drill,
buzzsaw and pincers just never make for a convincing menace, with the
cast clearly dodging around desperately to stay in front of them to be
menaced – not to mention being a very silly design for a cleaning
robot in the first place. (Consider how much better this might have
been if the Robots of Death had been recycled.)
The feet sticking out from the bin might be funny the first time, and
maybe even the second, but by the fourth or fifth… and what are the
bodies needed for anyway?
This is clearly inspiration for some of the new series' episodes (most
obviously The Beast Below, but there's plenty of very conventional
horror that doesn't really need the SF setting - slowly advancing
robots, lift failures, Things coming up the rubbish chute, blatantly
foreshadowed cannibal grannies, and so on)
Production is very evidently on the cheap; sets are sometimes a little
too obviously reused (from the same camera angle, and in one case
mirror-flipped, which would work better if there weren't an obviously
chiral robot in shot), and the background music is another Keff
McCulloch hack-job. The most serious problem is the size of the cast,
though: over 300 floors, and we see probably fewer than twenty people
altogether. Obviously the BBC couldn't afford a horde of extras, but
there are ways of shooting them that don't make it obvious, and then
there's this (and The Pirate Planet). The neon tubes on the Great
Architect are particularly naff.
The Caretakers are some of the weaker points, ending up as generic
jobsworths in self-parody uniforms, not to mention the Hitler
moustache on the chief. (And when he's taken over, he's basically a
drunken shambler, which pokes possibly unintentional fun at all the
megalomaniac villains of the series to date.)
There's lots of comic-relief running down corridors and just missing
people, which may be better than old-fashioned running down corridors
but still exists basically to fill in time. It's desperately padded at
times, especially in the middle. A long lecture at the start of part
four explains the plot for the hard of thinking, or those who fell
asleep during previous episodes.
All Mel really has to do is stroll from peril to peril, with the
fluorescent yellow pool-bug only the silliest of them. Her delivery is
monotone and she doesn't seem to have any sense of development through
the story.
But in spite of all these criticisms I found this actually wasn't too
bad at all. It's a bit rough and ready, and heavily padded, but it's
not a chore to get through as the last couple of series have tended to
be; seeing it in sequence really gives me an appreciation for the
attempts of the production team to make the series watchable again,
not to mention a cessation of the call-backs to old continuity. Cut it
to three parts and give us more characters who aren't placeholders for
the Author's Message (yeah, I'm especially looking at Pex here) and it
could be really quite good. (The Message itself is fine, it's just
ham-handedly delivered.)
I think the key change here is that there's some effort to make a good
TV programme. It fails at times, but there isn't the same sense of
"meh, good enough, throw in some more gore and they won't notice" that
there's been for the last few series.
Delta And The Bannermen
This was the first story fully commissioned by Cartmel. With six-part
stories now seeming too ambitious, and recent two-parters such as
Revelation of the Daleks and The Ultimate Foe seen as failures,
Nathan-Turner decided to have a pair of three-parters to fill up the
final six episode slots of the series.
When you're doing high-tech fighting, you don't stand up along the
ridgeline. Really, you don't. On the other hand it's really pleasing
to me that after all the times it wasn't done and should have been
we've finally got people interacting with a spaceship on the ground.
And oh dear, Ken Dodd. One can see why people thought the show was
getting a bit Light Entertainment-ish. And shooting him in the back
doesn't so much encourage us to think of the space mercenaries (yet
more space mercenaries, ho hum) as bad guys, but more as having
reasonably good taste.
The satellite looks as though it's meant to be a Vanguard, but the
launcher is wrong and not even spin-stabilised. Ah well. Mind you,
originally it was to be the secret American satellite launched before
Sputnik and lost because of the collision…
What on earth is the point of blowing up the bounty hunter remotely?
The mercenaries could just have handed over a briefcase of "money"
with a bomb in it, once they actually had their target.
The initial green baby isn't too bad. Once it's an obvious human face
in a green romper suit, or a succession of child actors, that's not so
good.
After all the fuss that's been made about Billy and Ray's break-up,
when they finally meet again, there's nothing between them at all.
(Ray was originally intended to be a new companion.) Nor between Billy
and Delta for that matter; one can't tell what she sees in him or
what he sees in her. But nobody's acting is really terrible here, and
most of the rest of the story actually works reasonably well. It's not
scrabbling desperately to be mature (except at one point, the
destruction of the bus), and therefore it does a better job of
actually being mature than we've seen for a long time. Sometimes
there's a bit too much happening, and I think the CIA agents could
probably have been dispensed with; it would also have been nice for at
least some people on Earth in 1959 to find the notion of a bunch of
aliens at least slightly worthy of comment.
It's largely a runaround, sure, but it's a runaround on a Vinnie and a
Vespa, and that helps just a little. Even Bonnie Langford isn't
horrid. It does tend to crumble when you poke it, though. Just how
did the Doctor get out of the part two cliffhanger?
Dragonfire
Even when it's naff, this new version of the show isn't completely
naff.
Ace doesn't show up too well on her initial introduction: she's let
down by the script, being too much the generic bolshy teenager whose
writer has glanced through a Guide to Teenage Slang and decided to use
all of it. And having been set up as suspicious and moody, she
confesses her life story to a total stranger, because, er? On the
other hand, her enthusiasm for explosives shows a practicality we
haven't seen in a companion since Leela, and Sophie Aldred does her
best to overcome the unlikeableness of her lines as written.
Kane is like a lot of Who villains, but turned up to eleven. Edward
Peel does a very good job of playing an over-the-top character in a
mostly-plausible way. Except at the end, when he starts "spreading
terror" before he's got the key item, and engages in utterly
pointless destruction, even of his own forces.
Distracting a guard by engaging him in philosophical debate, and this
then backfiring because the guard actually wants to engage in the
debate, is an excellent touch.
The white Prussian-style helmets are nice, but there's much less sense
of place than there has been in recent stories. Going from point A to
point B seems to take as much time, and pass through as many other
points, as the plot requires at that moment. There's a lot of padding,
and I think this could have worked as a two-parter, even though as
shot it was over-long. On the other hand this is the only story this
series not to be scored by Keff McCulloch, the only one not to rework
the theme tune as incidental music, and indeed the only one where the
incidental music isn't obtrusive. And the meltyface shot is excellent.
The zombie ex-crew wouldn't be too bad except for their SFX noisy
footsteps, and they seem underused. Similarly, Glitz is clearly there
not to much to have a narrative role as to give the Doctor someone to
talk to. (And to rescue him from the entirely pointless literal
cliffhanger at the end of part one, which seems to have failed because
the director didn't know what was wanted.)
Why did Kracauer hang around after he'd set the controls to thaw Kane?
Why not go somewhere else, or at least run away once Kane started to
revive? All he's for in the end is to show that Kane is a nasty
person; and Belazs is similarly wasted (Patricia Quinn, who also
played Magenta in The Rocky Horror Picture Show!).
The little girl who gets saved by the Power of Moppet is, sadly, a
recurring presence through part 3. Oh dear. Was the child somebody's
daughter or something, pushed into the script through executive power?
Her plot basically has nothing to do with the rest of the story.
I thought for a moment the model Nosferatu might be a recycled
London from Blake's 7, but it's not - it just has a similar
"handle" on top. And after the far less heavily foreshadowed but
similar destruction of a lot of innocents in Delta a few episodes
ago, it's remarkably ineffective.
Why didn't Kane send his guards down into the lower levels to hunt the
dragon years ago? (It's not a bad Aliens rip-off, though it would
have looked even more blatant when it was less than a year since the
release of that film.) Or indeed send his entire "mercenary" army? For
that matter, why did his captors leave the "dragonfire" power source
on the same planet with him? Why did Kane, obsessed with revenge on
his home planet, not keep track of what was happening to it? As
spacefarers capable of constructing pretty large craft, shouldn't at
least some of those people have survived? What's the deal with Kane's
body temperature – were all his people like that? And if so why was he
exiled to a place that would kill him if the fridge broke down?
In spite of all that, the real problem is that the Doctor doesn't
affect the story. If he hadn't turned up, Kane would have done pretty
much the same things as he does here and the story would have gone the
same way; the only difference is to Ace. Maybe he'd have recruited
Ace, maybe not, but either way she'd have been killed on the
Nosferatu.
There's a mildly effective farewell scene, but it's all McCoy's, with
no reason even given for Mel's departure.
Doctorin' the Tardis
This novelty single,
released between series 24 and 25, is notable mostly because it
enabled the JAM/KLF to go mainstream. The reason I mention it, though,
is as an example of cultural influence and what one might call
"mainstream fandom": the record sold not only to the shrinking base of
"real fans", but to people who were aware of the basics of the show
and felt vaguely positive about it while not actually watching it (any
more, or ever).
Overall impressions
It's been so bad for so long that even small improvements seem
remarkably good to me. Even when they take the show in directions that
seem as far from the Doctor Who of the old days as did the thuggish
bullying Doctor of Colin Baker. The first time round I saw maybe a
couple of episodes, which didn't leave much impression. This time,
well, it's the first time since series 17 that there hasn't been at
least one story I really strongly disliked.
And I think that there must have been at least a slight resurgence of
morale; some of the directing and effects work is bad, as it's always
been, but it no longer feels slipshod and "good enough" (except in
Dragonfire where some sequences could really have used another
take).
The show was, sensibly, not being made for the fans any more (the
fans, after all, would watch anything with a blue box in it, they'd
just whine as they did). They did whine that Things Had Changed, and
it got some media attention. (And I think that this may be why this is
still regarded as the Excessively Comedic Season, before the successes
of the final two.)
But Coronation Street was still more popular, in an era when most
houses had one television and probably no video recorder, than had
been hoped.
(In the gap between this and the next series, Red Dwarf began, and
grew unaccountably popular. Some of the science fiction was OK, but
the sitcom got all over everything. This series seems to me a much
better example of how to do light-hearted and occasionally comic SF.)
Favourite story of this series: Delta and the Bannermen.
Departed companions to date, ranked by how much I like them:
- Zoe
- Barbara
- Liz Shaw
- Leela
- Romana II
- Romana I
- Sarah Jane Smith
- Susan
- Ian
- K-9
- Steven
- Sara Kingdom
- Jo Grant
- Jamie
- Nyssa
- Ben
- Polly
- Vicki
- Victoria
- Peri
- Tegan
- Turlough
- Mel
- Dodo
- Katarina
- Kamelion
- Adric
Mel
Mel was explicitly designed to be a companion by the production
team, rather than being promoted from a one-shot character invented by
a writer. She would be red-headed, a computer programmer from
contemporary Earth (which I think came up just once), and a fitness
fanatic (it was trendy at the time). But note that there's no mention
of personality in that lot, and that's the problem. Without anything
for her to do or a consistent character for her to be, she ends up
complaining and screaming a lot, like a wetter version of Tegan. She's
not as terrible as she's been painted, but she's still down with Tegan
and Turlough rather than the more interesting companions. She's even
more generic than Peri.
(It's been suggested that an arrival story for her was planned for
series 24, but Colin Baker's departure prevented its being made.)
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