Some trailers I've seen recently, and my thoughts on them. (Links are
to youtube. Opinions are thoroughly personal. Calibration: the state
abhors only one thing in the end, and that's the sound of laughter.
Violence it can understand.)
Jumanji - The Next Level:
the last one was cheap and made reasonable money, so of course there
has to be another one. Now with added geezer comedy. Yay. I like the
idea that the leads may have to play different people each time, but
couldn't they at least be interesting people?
13 Minutes:
maybe this kind of heavy-handed stuff is what the world needs. But it
doesn't appeal.
Knives Out:
a decent cast, but the visual style is turned up to 12 and it's just
shouty non-fun. If I want that I can watch Parliament.
Mulan (Teaser):
another of these live-action Disney remakes that nobody particularly
wants, or pays to see, but they make just enough money to keep the
engine ticking over. Why would I watch this when I could watch, oh,
practically anything with Michelle Yeoh in it?
Maleficent - Mistress of Evil:
may well appeal to people other than me. Great cast, lovely costumes,
but such a dull story.
The King's Man (Teaser):
oh, just a prequel to this tedious series.
Don't Let Go:
looks at first like still yet more They Took His Family Now He Must Be
Very Very Violent, but in fact it's just a Timeless ripoff.
Hustlers:
Looks as if it's trying to be Ocean's 8, only with strippers. Might
be better than that, but the trailer won't tell me so.
Playing with Fire:
ho ho ho. Ho. And apparently that's not an underinflated
Schwarzenegger suit, it's John Cena.
The Red Sea Diving Resort:
doesn't seem like a lot of fun, but it might work.
It Chapter Two:
I am not in the target audience. Didn't think much of the book, wasn't
intererested in the first film. Fewer kids is good, I guess. 99 red
balloons?
Ad Astra (second trailer):
I really hope this is a film about space, not a film about daddy
issues.
Cats:
I don't suppose many people remember the musical given that it closed
nearly twenty years ago, but known names always make filmmakers think
there's money to be had. Sadly, they're often right. Oh, ha ha, Rebel
Wilson still gets to play the fat girl comic relief. Looks very
directly derived from stage settings. People are complaining about the
uncanny-valley effect of the makeup, but it doesn't seem so terrible
to me.
Jay and Silent Bob Reboot:
never bothered to see the original. This doesn't make want to see this
one. Predictable jokes, and presumably they're the best they can
offer. But as regular readers know I have no sense of humour.
Top Gun - Maverick:
you know how when an author goes back to a story that seemed to be
complete, ten years later, and adds another volume, it's hardly ever
any good? Top Gun was released 33 years ago and this isn't coming
out till next year.
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood:
as with the other one, if you didn't grow up with the show… it's just
another "Tom Hanks plays a saint" film, and he's been doing a lot of
those lately, possibly as he's one of the few older actors who doesn't
seem to have been assaulting anything vaguely female. I suppose it's
better if a
magical negro
plot doesn't have an actual negro (or manic pixie dream girl) being
the cause of the magic… is it? Or we could try not doing that plot any
more.
Harriet:
well, if every story of race must be a story of saints and devils,
let's at least have a story of someone who's already part-mythologised
and seems largely to have lived up to it.
Jojo Rabbit (Teaser):
crotch injury in the first ten seconds. Yeah, that'll be fun. (The
book on which this is based is not a farce.)
The Dreamlands:
this is from the guy who made Die Farbe so it's meant to be the
Dreamlands, but I see nothing Lovecraftian here. If there are no rules
for the fantasy, there's also no tension; so are you going to show us
some rules? Nah, spooky mirror. And of course He has to save Her. No
reason to care about any of this.
Zombieland - Double Tap:
this comedy leaves me completely cold. I'm sure it will work for
someone.
The Hunt:
Ho hum, The Most Dangerous Game all over again. With lots of gore.
The Parting Glass:
looks arty and depressing.
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