RogerBW's Blog: That Implanted Tracking Chip In Full

Now that millions of people in the UK have had their first COVID-19 vaccination, our tireless team of imaginary researchers has had plenty of opportunities to examine the tracking chip that is, we are assured by many people with no possible ulterior motive, being implanted with every shot.

And really, what a disaster! I mean, all right, this is a British government procurement project, so obviously the contract was going to go to someone's brother-in-law. But come on, this is 2021! We're using IPv6! (Some of us are, anyway.) Using a 32-bit ID is simply incompatible with global surveillance standards – that's as simple as working out log₂(7.8 billion) – and even counting just the UK's population that leaves only five bits for start and end codes. That just gets you 0-31, not 666!

Now obviously Bill Gates had to be kept sweet, but even he would admit that Windows for Snooping just isn't up to the job here. It hasn't had a security update since Snowden spilled its secrets in 2013! The US government rejected it as insufficiently intrusive after it was proved that users could bring their tracking uncertainty up to ten metres in rural areas! (They're using the Google Tracker custom Android system, of course, while most of the rest of the world is sticking with embedded Linux and locationleakd.) I'm sure someone got bought a very nice lunch though.

And as for the hardware… yes, I can see they have to keep costs down at this production scale, but isn't the point of a tracking chip that you can, y'know, track people? With the chip alone you'll be lucky to get more than a twenty-metre read, which may be fine for cops looking for dissenters for the 4am roundups, but isn't so great if you're trying to aim the Zoroastrian Space Lasers (other Middle Eastern religions are available) – and really, without the orbital lasers you're throwing away a lot of the benefits of doing this at all. All right, I have to admire the ingenuity that's going to make fashionable amplifier hats available in every branch of next this summer, but really, how long are people going to wear them?

And the batch 1 chips they're using now only have a 16-week battery; who came up with that brilliant idea? Couldn't get the glucose burners from Suzhou in time, eh?

After all that a little bird tells me that the tracking servers (run by Capita, of course, I mean who else?) haven't even been properly asperged with virgins' blood – that'll have to wait till 2030. (Assuming they can find any virgins by then.) When seventeen million people voted for Brexit they were calling for hell on Earth NOW, not in ten years' time!

Wake UP, sheeple! You deserve better than this!

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