RogerBW's Blog

February 2022 Trailers 01 March 2022

Some trailers I've seen recently, and my thoughts on them. (Links are to youtube. Opinions are thoroughly personal. Calibration: I want a trailer to tell me what's different about this film; the marketers want it to tell me why it's like all the others…)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: here's a lovely atmospheric setting. Here's the same old done-to-death slasher villain.

After Yang: sigh, yes, it's still a revolutionary idea in film that an AI might be a person. I suppose we're lucky he's not going clank clank murder. Might actually work, but one can't tell from this.

No Exit: so the basic villain is the American legal system. Yeah, seems fair. I'm less interested in the plot where one of these people is a murderer, and/or they get killed one by one.

A Day to Die: what another action film where Grunty Bruce Doesn't Do That Any More? Is that five, six, all of a sudden? Is there a Willis Quota that needs to be fulfilled? Does he have a tax bill to pay?

Gold: so… it's basically the Sierra Madre without Humphrey Bogart?

Cheaper by the Dozen: crotch injury, har har. Still, remaking films from 1950 will probably appeal to that part of the cinema audience that wishes it were still living in 1950.

Lightyear: OK, so basically Toy Story's great virtue was to be a film for kids that would also be enjoyable by adults. But this is a marketable character, and if there's anything for the adults here (apart from the horrid version of Starman) it's lost in all the bouncy action.

Ultrasound: disguising supernatural-tech horror as desperately mundane horror? Hm, maybe. Doesn't grab me, though.

Firestarter: it's a remake, and it's from Blumhouse. Great big meh. (Also, the fire exposure suit doesn't do you much good if someone has the imagination to set you on fire.)

Men (Teaser): very pretty, which is all this has to say.

Father Stu: "inspiring". Yay. Still an asshole. And you don't get to use That Song.

Jurassic World - Dominion: this reminds me of the marketing for Superman, trying to persuade people to ignore what you've heard, the visual effects are really worth seeing honest guv.

The Adam Project (Teaser): Ryan Reynolds does heartwarming kidvid. Dad!

You Are Not My Mother: has some slight potential, but it's aggressively grey and bland. Low-budget film can often uncover some really powerful acting, but it's not on show here.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: what we see of the plot looks simplistic in the extreme. Pretty effects, but that's not what I'm looking for.

Nope: appealing people, but is that all you got? I know, I know, the subtle stuff isn't meant to be in the trailer.

Deep Water (Teaser): so which of them is the murderer? Why not both?

Chip 'n' Dale - Rescue Rangers (Teaser): that's a really strange look. Someone thought it would be a good idea to draw attention to the drawbacks of the medium compared with proper animation, I guess.

Downton Abbey - A New Era: no effort at all to tell us why we should care about these people, because we're meant to be fans already I suppose. But "a film crew comes to the place" and "the main characters go somewhere else" both feel like the sort of plot you use in a tired series when you're run out of ideas.

Fresh: meh, it's got one big idea and both poster and trailer give it away.

Windfall: I don't like any of these people.

The Contractor: they don't do that any more until they do for one last job. It's a genre in itself, no more inventiveness needed.

Baz Luhrmann’s ELVIS: I hadn't thought that Elvis in Luhrmannovision was a great idea, but it might work. Kid-Elvis looks like Wil Wheaton. Probably one of the nastiest roles Tom Hanks has taken for a while, so presumably this is the Saint Tom Parker version.

Panama: self-parody isn't pretty if the actors look as though they don't realise it's self-parody. (Also Bruce Campbell played this role so much better on Burn Notice without the pervasive smell of sleaze.)

Parallel Mothers: well, fine, but it's all a bit grim and bare.

Hustle (Teaser): sports movie is sports movie. I can't tell one from another even when they aren't being made to look identical.

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