RogerBW's Blog

March 2022 Trailers 01 April 2022

Some trailers I've seen recently, and my thoughts on them. (Links are to youtube. Opinions are thoroughly personal. Calibration: I want a trailer to tell me what's different about this film; the marketers want it to tell me why it's like all the others…)

Infinite Storm: I see a certain ethical question here… but while I'm not desperately enthused, I am at least interested.

The Adam Project: really, the best sort of father-son bonding is with yourself. None of that tedious learning about another person, just straight to the heartwarming moments. Yay.

The Innocents: yes, but… eh, it's a fantasy that doesn't grab me even though it's clearly meant to.

Umma: respect your relatives or they'll come back from the dead and murderise you. Even if they're horrible people.

Bullet Train: overblown colour and simplistic comedy. I'd love to see an action film set aboard a shinkansen but almost certainly not this one.

Master: does adding black people make a tired old story about a haunted school any less tired? Might work but it feels very derivative.

All the Old Knives: maybe you'd do a better job of espionage or counterterrorism or whatever your actual job is supposed to be if you spent less time shagging co-workers?

You Won't Be Alone: I get no impression from this at all except "sexy horror".

Blink: depressingly straightforward horror.

The Bubble: pretty enough, but it's all a bit meh. Even with Kate McKinnon, though she might just salvage this.

Anaïs in Love: it looks trite at first, but there's a certain appeal here. Might at least take a look.

Agent Game: doesn't look like much fun. Probably not supposed to be, of course. (Also nobody lights the inside of their bizjet like that.) Mel Gibson is a strike against it too.

Apollo 10½ - A Space Age Childhood: that weirdly rotoscope-ish style doesn't work for me, any more than it does in Doctor Who reconstructions. Seems like a very generic wish-fulfilment sort of story apart from that.

Deep Water: well, that looks a look more generically creepy-stalker domestic-abuse than the teaser did.

Sharkula: Mark Polonia, of course; gory microbudget shark films are pretty much His Thing.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent: still not seeing the point here. And you, sir, are no Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson.

Moonshot: oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Also: oh dear. And this is going to entice people into paying for a whole streaming service just to get this one film?

Watcher (Teaser): all looks a bit Rear Window but hey, it might possibly have something to say that isn't being revealed here.

Memory: Oh, Liam, blink twice if you are being held against your will and forced to make all these identical films. (Joke stolen from Maryann Johanson.)

Puss in Boots - The Last Wish: so Shrek came out in 2001. People who were kids at the time may now have kids of the target age to see this. But that means it's that boring stuff their parents remember, and the animation here looks much cheaper than Shrek ever did…

Where the Crawdads Sing: I think I'm meant to know this story already. Seems like an interesting basic idea combined with a desperately hackneyed plot.

Men: well, this is Garland, so blaming women for everything is his natural register. Will he get away from that pattern this time?

Descarrilados (Off the Rails): feels like generic guys-behaving-badly comedy. Maybe it has a heart but I don't think so.

I Love America: well, Marceau looks splendid of course, but otherwise…?

The Calm Beyond: I missed this on initial release. Visually appealing, but looks as though there's limited room for characterisation.

Choose or Die: but what if I don't want to watch people hurting themselves in a varity of inventive ways? (I know, I know, don't watch the film.)

Dual: um… well, I guess it is a bit different, but it also seems profoundly silly.

Minions - The Rise of Gru: if Despicable Me hadn't actually had something to say I wouldn't be this disappointed.

  1. Posted by Owen Smith at 02:16pm on 01 April 2022

    So Moonshot can only be watched if you pay for HBO Max? What a pity...

    However fragmentation into lots of paid for streaming platforms is a big complaint of mine. New cult and sci-fi shows have pretty much disappeared from UK terrestrial TV. And it's not as if I have to pay for one streaming service to see new equivalents of Buffy or BattleStar Galactica, oh no I would have to pay for several. I don't, and as a result I'm dependent on the variable release of Blu Rays or DVDs of these things. I'm still waiting for The Expanse seasons 5 and 6 to come out. Lots of people are talking about this as a golden age of TV, but for me it's the worst it has ever been.

  2. Posted by RogerBW at 02:32pm on 01 April 2022

    I saw elsewhere that Moonshot includes a brief sequence in which the characters are playing what's visibly a copy of Terraforming Mars. Except, presumably to make it "look like a boardgame", they have the players rolling dice.

    I have heard rumours that TV shows can be had on the Naughty Internet, but of course I wouldn't know anything about that.

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