Some trailers I've seen recently, and my thoughts on them. (Links are
to youtube. Opinions are thoroughly personal. Calibration: I want a
trailer to tell me what's different about this film; the marketers
want it to tell me why it's like all the others…)
Big George Foreman:
OK, I'm in my fifties, and to me George Foreman has always meant the
guy shilling the electric grill. I assumed he must have been famous
for something once, like all the other people one is supposed to be
impressed by. If there's a personal story here, that could be great;
what I see here looks like Generic Boxing Movie. (If Foreman's story
has generated some of the clichés of Generic Boxing Movie, fair
enough, but that doesn't mean it'll work now.)
Moving On:
man, McDowell got old. (I mean, he is 79, and Fonda is 85, but
presumably she's had to put a lot more work into not looking as though
she'd break if you breathed hard in her direction.) Plot? Clearly an
excuse to wind up the old luvvies and let them to their thing.
The Lost King:
this will rest on Hawkins' shoulders, though I think she can do it.
Coogan irks me just by being, even when he isn't trying to be funny.
Guy Ritchie's The Covenant:
how to make desert war look like a gangster squabble. Doubtless it's
all terribly manly.
My Happy Ending:
I like the cast, but I suspect I've now seen the whole plot.
White Men Can't Jump (First Look):
nothing here to engage with. I guess if you already like the cast, or
you've never seen Sports Movie before.
Resident Evil: Death Island:
given that this looks like game footage, why wouldn't I play the game?
Paint (Teaser):
looks as if it's leaning hard on the whimsy button.
Strays (Red Band):
dogs are good. woo.
Air:
the plucky little multimillion dollar company that could.
Luther: The Fallen Sun:
"where do you want this 150,000 gallons of police action polyfilla? I
don't care if the plot's not ready, you ordered it for today you're
getting it today."
Fast X:
not just a giant safe, a giant rolly ball o' death! Not just one
helicopter, but two helicopters! Oh, and family I guess.
Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba - To the Swordsmith Village:
not a series I know, not a style I tend to enjoy.
Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3:
yes, middle-aged white man, you are important. Really, you are.
The Flash:
I can't help noticing that we get at least as much Batman and Superman
awesomeness as we do Flash ditto. Usually I'd only expect to see that
level of lack of confidence in a film with women in the lead roles.
Nothing Is Impossible:
"Pure Flix is an American evangelical Christian film production and
distribution studio". If they'd just given it a normal name rather
than one that's clearly "like Netflix, but Pure!" I probably wouldn't
have bothered to look it up. But the style, and particularly the
cheapness of this ten-minute promo, make it clear that this was made
by people who consider Message more important than filmmaking
competence.
Love Again:
kind of heavy-handed, not to mention desperately contrived. But the
major gimmick is clearly "Celine Dion's first film role" along with
"why be honest, that wouldn't produce enough Drama".
Kandahar (Teaser):
I mean, you could tell a story set in Iran. Or you could make Generic
Action Movie and paint Iranian desert on the backdrop.
Tetris:
profoundly offputting.
Smoking Causes Coughing:
OK I guess, though the one thing sentai shows are universally known
for is colour-coded heroes.
Salvatore: Shoemaker of Dreams:
…you going anywhere with this? Am I supposed to be interested in the
guy already?
Boston Strangler:
Ridley Scott is pretty patchy these days. Might work, might not, but
definitely wait for reviews.
Sisu (Red Band):
looks like silly fun.
The Pope's Exorcist:
woo, what a guy, making his career out of lying about children and
women.
About My Father:
hi-larious.
Past Lives:
yeah, this has some possibilities, if it doesn't get too maudlin.
A Thousand and One:
there's something here in between the cliché.
The Machine (Red Band):
why do I care about this person?
RRR:
Bollywood does India's fight for independence. I suspect I could
seriously enjoy this.
Somewhere in Queens:
if this is your culture maybe it will speak to you. To me it looks
like all the stereotypes rolled together.
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