RogerBW's Blog

Field Guide to the Server Room 08 April 2026

Just what does sucrry down the corridors of Telehouse anyway? Now the truth can be told.

600lb Rack: this ambush predator, a relative of the drop bear, disguises itself as a natural feature until it can tip over onto unsuspecting prey. Its extensive root system allows it to absorb nutrients squeezed from its kill.

Blood Spider (debatable): while the creature has not been formally catalogued, its webs most certainly have. Laid along linear surfaces such as tree trunks, these very thin strands draw blood from the most casual cotact, and it is presumed that the Spider subsists on this.

Crimp: this small and delicate beetle is the preferred prey of the Ethersnake, and its primary defence is hiding. If you do spot one, note the near-translucent body and the hard shell (some have been known to exude a softer protective integument outside this shell). Crimps are detritivores, though they have been known to burrow into defunct plants for protection.

Ethersnake: these reptiles vary in length from half a metre to 15 or more, but rarely reach 1cm in diameter. Colouration is typically grey, though isolated populations have developed camouflage and unreliable reports suggest that some may be luminescent. They are constrictors, and while their usual diet is mouse-sized or smaller (particularly Crimps) they will attempt larger prey if it remains immobile for long enough to be caught. Mating clusters of ethersnakes may number fifty or more individuals and should on no account be disturbed.

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